Change of Heart

After a lot of thinking, I've decided not to do the Big Sur marathon.  I’ll admit I’m a little bit sad but it was completely my choice.  It's not like me to let go of such an amazing opportunity but sometimes things come up that make you rethink things.  And I'm okay with changing my mind about something and doing what's right for me at the time.  It would have been an amazing race with a great group of girls and beautiful scenery but I was having a hard time finding the same passion and motivation this season.  I was going through the motions but I wasn’t loving it as much as I once did.  Don’t get me wrong, I still LOVE running and will still run every week but I’m not going to put any pressure on myself to run a marathon when I have other wants, desires, hopes and dreams.  Completing a marathon was AMAZING and I hope to do many more in my future, just not right now.  Big Sur is definitely still on my list of things to do someday.  I want to bring my joy of running back.  I want to run for fun for a little while and race when I feel like racing.  I definitely prefer to train in the Summer.  I’m a Summer girl so maybe next season I’ll gear up for marathon #2.  In the meantime maybe I’ll run some halves, maybe not.  No pressure, just good ole running for the fun of it!  To be honest I’m relieved in a lot of ways and it actually makes me even more excited to go for a run! 

Just ME

I had actually decided that maybe I wouldn't write anymore, maybe I didn't have enough to say or the right things to say...  But today I realized even more so than before that I don't write for others, I write for myself.  I hope people read my blog and I hope people like it, but this is also kind of a personal journal for me.  Something that honestly I am surprised that I share so freely.  But if one person out there can relate to me then it's worth it.  I don't think you have to run to read this blog.  You can apply my feelings and thoughts to trying anything new, anything that you feel passionate about and that makes you feel like you're on the right track, anything that makes you feel alive and gives you a reason to smile.  So here goes!  Goodness I've been back into training for almost a month now.  We started training January 8th.  While I'm on the subject of focusing on me and what's best for me, I'll also say that I don't run for anyone else but myself.  Sure I enjoy the friendships and running with a group very much but it's also a personal journey for me.  I like to push myself, I like to have goals whether physical or personal and I like the way it changes me for the better.  Honestly my running has been lacking a little motivation lately.  I don't have the same drive I had training for my first marathon.  Sure I still get all my training runs in and always give my best but it's lacking something.  I think the weather might have something to do with this.  This past week I logged 26 miles on the treadmill due to the Tulsa blizzard. The treadmill is not my most favorite place to run, I prefer a beautiful Spring morning.  But when you're a runner, you run no matter what the conditions are.  I actually feel very lucky that I was able to run on the treamill because so many people were stuck inside with nothing to do.  At least I could run.  As I run, I tend to think about so much.  Sometimes it's just when will this be over but sometimes it's deeper than that.  There are so many things that I want to do with my life.  I'm learning so much about myself and what I want and don't want, what I think is truly important and what's not.  I feel like I have grown so much within the last year and I yearn to grow even more.  I think in some ways I feel like, "well I accomplished a marathon... now what??"  Don't get me wrong I still want to run Big Sur and hopefully many more marathons in my future but I'm also okay running some half marathons or just running for fun and focusing on other things.  I think variety is a good thing and it also helps remind you why you do something.  I  know if I went one week without running, I would miss it terribly.  So that's why I continue.  I continue for me and I feel so lucky that I'm able to do the things that many people aren't.  I was thinking about this the other night and I truly feel so blessed to have been given the gifts that God gave me.  I'm not the smartest person or the richest or the prettiest but what I do have, I'm eternally grateful for.  I wouldn't trade what I have or where I am in my journey for anything.  I know that come that first beautiful day of Spring that I will be elated and proud of my progress.  Until then I will continue to pound the cold pavement and yes even the lovely treadmill to reach my goal.  Do what makes you HAPPY.  :)  

1001

First let me apologize for not writing in so long.  I haven't been training like normal therefore there hasn't been as much to write about.  But let me back track for a minute and say that I met my goal of running 1000 miles in 2010.  1001 to be exact.  :)  This is something that I NEVER thought I could do, in fact I never intended on making this a goal until I realized it was reachable.  As you know, I just started running in December of 2009 so I've officially been running for 1 year plus a little.  I still consider myself a newbie but I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that I would have completed 2 half marathons and 1 full marathon in 2010.  I'm so proud of pushing myself to do something out of the ordinary.  What an amazing running year!  I hope 2011 is just as great!  Today training started.  My new running goal is Big Sur.  If you know me, then you know I hate cold weather.  Waking up to run in freezing, bone cold weather is not exactly my idea of fun.  But I must say when I'm done and thawed out, I feel great!  I hope that I can get through this season without wimping out.  I keep telling myself that Spring will be here before I know it and then all the training and hard work in the cold will pay off.  Until then I will bundle up and hope the cold Saturday morning runs go as good as possible!  I really love being back in the group setting.  Running with a training group is definitely the way to go and I love my running family.  Since I ran with Fleet Feet last season, it's nice to come back to some familiar faces.  It makes me feel like I'm right where I should be.  Cheers to a New Year and new training season!  I can't wait to see what this New Year has in store. 
16 weeks until marathon #2!        

Route 66

It's hard to believe but it's been one week since the Route 66 Marathon.  Of course I didn't run in this event so maybe that's why it seems like more than just a week ago.  I tossed the idea around but ultimatly decided that a last minute race decision probably wouldn't have been wise.  I want to say Congratulations to all my friends/running family who completed this race.  It was a windy day and wind and running do not mix well.  Unless of course the wind is blowing in your favor.  I've come to the conclusion that regardless of wind, rain, hot or cold at some point you just have to sit back and rely on your training to get you through.  Unfortunatly we cannot control mother nature but we can control how we react to it.  I'm so proud of everyone who finished!!!  I also know a lot of people who got their PR that day which is simply amazing!  You guys inspire me!  I'm so happy to get to spend time with such an amazing group of strong individuals and I can't wait to start training again in January! 
CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN!  Keep your head held high.  You did it!  

Big Sur

On October 28th, 18 days after I completed my first marathon and said I would never do that again, I signed up for marathon #2.  Yep call me crazy!  There’s something about the time period after you finish a race that makes you feel invincible.  I don’t know what it is other than wanting to feel that feeling again.  For me, running isn’t nearly as fun unless I have something that I’m working towards.  I  like having a specific goal.  So when I was approached to run another marathon, I could feel the excitement and adrenaline soar like it did the times before when I signed up for a race.  I knew when I felt that feeling, that I should do it.  So without hesitation or concern for how I would do it (flight, hotels, etc) I just signed up!  Keep in mind when I signed up, I believe there were 28 spots left.  I didn’t have time to think, I just did it.  My next marathon will be Big Sur, May 1, 2011.  I am really excited to do this run.  It won’t be a PR run, it will be a challenging run that I hope someday I can say I completed.  I know it is going to be very hilly, windy and possibly foggy but it is also supposed to be one of the most beautiful, scenic marathons there is.  I don’t know that I look forward to Winter training again but I look forward to my 2nd marathon very much!  Bring it on Big Sur!  

I said I would answer these questions from a questionnaire that I started at the end of August after I completed my 1st marathon so here goes!


Be brutal, what was your race like?
I think I’ve answered this question and them some in my recap of before my marathon and my 1st marathon blogs so I won’t bore you with a long answer. But my marathon was pleasant, exhausting, wet, exhilarating, humbling, incredible, lonely, emotional and amazing all at the same time! If I had to choose one word, I’d choose amazing. I got to accomplish a goal that most people only dream of. I still have to pinch myself and remind myself that I did it. I have never been so proud of myself… maybe ever. I trained for weeks and months. I set a goal and I worked hard to accomplish it and make it mine.

How did you celebrate your marathon?
That evening my brother and I went out for sushi and drinks in Portland. We didn’t stay out too long because I was simply drained but it was a nice celebration. The next morning we had a delicious breakfast, coffee and walked around different shops in Portland. I will say that this day was a day of celebration for me too just because I finally got to relax and enjoy the satisfaction that I was done and could enjoy the beautiful day with my family.

Do you plan to run more in your future?
If you would have asked me directly after my race, I would have said no to running another marathon but as of today, I am signed up for my 2nd marathon in May 2011. J As to running in general, yes I hope to run for as long as my body allows me to continue doing so joyfully.

What is your running schedule now?
Right now I’m not training for anything quite yet so I’m just running for fun. I’m still trying to meet my personal goal of 1000 miles in 2010 so I’m running somewhere around 20 miles a week. I will start training again in late December/early January.

Honestly do you enjoy running or just the effects?
This is a tough question for me because if running didn’t bring me joy, pride, highs, a sense of accomplishment, a constant challenge and looser pants I wouldn’t enjoy it nearly as much as I do. So without the “effects” I guess it wouldn’t be as enjoyable. But I really do love running. I love going through the valleys and peaks of hard runs and great/satisfying runs. I love accomplishing a goal only to set another one. I love running gear and the friendships I’ve made. I love the challenge and the crazy looks I get from people when I tell them my goals or what I’ve ran that day. I love waking up and running on a Saturday morning and feeling more energized and alive than I could ever imagine feeling. I love feeling healthy and strong. This morning on my way to work, I saw someone running and I felt jealous. That’s when you know you truly love it. It was a beautiful morning and whenever it’s a gorgeous day I usually think at some point, it’s a perfect day for a run. I could go on and on about what I love about running but I won’t. You get the point…

What advice do you have for first timers?
Stay determined and positive. It’s not going to go perfect or as planned so just stay focused and confident that you can do it. Remember how hard you’ve worked and enjoy every moment of it. Find a good support system and SMILE!